Episode 4

Jasper

Saturday morning. It was raining, and our plan to take the boys outside fell apart before we'd even finished breakfast. Raphael stared out the window at the steady drizzle, his pirate costume from last night still draped over the back of his chair.

"I don't want to go outside!" he said, watching the droplets run down the window.

"Water park," Anna announced, already pulling on her coat. "Get your swim things."

The boys erupted. Suddenly the rain didn't matter at all.

I loaded towels and swim gear into my rucksack while the boys bounced around me with excited chatter. Raphael knocked my elbow, and a towel dropped. I picked it up, tried again. Elias crashed into my leg, and I dropped the same towel. Smooth.

Anna stood next to me, zipping her coat. She watched me pick up the same towel for the third time, not even trying to hide her grin.

"I'm hoping they'll be tired after this," she said quietly. "They have way too much energy for the trip back to Stuttgart."

I enjoyed their energy, but I felt for my sister. "They'll be exhausted. Don't worry."

The boys barely listened as they piled into the back seat, still shouting about the slides and who would be quicker.

Anna pulled out of the drive. The car rolled down Am Wald, wipers beating against the rain. The houses of our neighbours slid past the windows.

Then number seventeen.

"Look, Mum!" Raphael pressed his face to the window. "The ghost house! And look! There's the ghost man!"

"He doesn't look like a ghost to me, Rafa," Anna said. I followed her gaze and slid a little deeper into my seat. My knee hit the glove compartment.

Lucas was standing in his front garden, staring up at the house with his hands on his hips. Even from the car, he looked cold. No coat. Just a jumper that probably wasn't warm enough for November.

Elias knocked on his window and waved enthusiastically when Lucas turned around. "Hallo, Geist!"

He spotted Elias and waved back.

Anna turned to me, eyebrows raised. "Why are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding."

"You're practically sitting on the floor." She was trying not to laugh. "What happened at that house?"

"You know what happened. You made me retell it like five times," I said.

She grinned.

I stared out the windscreen, willing my face to cool down. Lucas had waved back at the boys. Easy, friendly. Like yesterday hadn't been completely mortifying.

I should apologize properly. Not the rushed, flustered mess I'd managed yesterday while wrestling two sugared-up children. A real apology. Maybe stop by later—

Anna said something next, but I didn't catch it.

Heat crept up my neck. Yesterday's disaster played through my head—the boys, the chaos, my fumbled introduction.

That house—cold, falling apart, no heating. He'd freeze through winter. I could connect him with local tradesmen. I knew everyone in town.

"—and move to a monastery."

I blinked. "What?"

Anna burst out laughing. "Caught you. You haven't heard a word for the last five minutes."

I rubbed my face. "Sorry. What were you saying?"

We were already out of town, the forest thick on both sides of the road. How long had I been replaying yesterday in my head?

"Nothing important." She glanced at me again. "But seriously. Why were you sliding down in your seat like a little girl when we drove past that house?"

"A little girl?"

"You were hiding, Jasper. From this guy in front of his house." She paused. "It's okay to find someone interesting, you know."

I evaded. "Yesterday was terrible! The boys barged into his house like feral animals. I nearly had a heart attack."

Anna's laugh faded. She was quiet for a moment, navigating the turn towards the water park. She glanced at me before she spoke again. "He only spoke English, right?"

"A bit of German too." I glanced back at the boys. They were already arguing about who would go down the slide first. "But mostly English."

"Didn't Greta have relatives in America?"

I tried to remember. "I—I don't know?" I couldn't remember any American family. "But it doesn't matter if someone's putting money into fixing the house. That's good."

"True," Anna said. "That place has been empty for ages."

We pulled into the water park car park. The boys were already unbuckling, bouncing with excitement.

"Come on! Why are you always so slow?" Raphael grabbed my arm and pulled, then gave an exasperated sigh and bolted for the entrance, Elias right behind him.

I grabbed the rucksack and followed, the water park's noise drowning out everything else—including yesterday's disaster.

The water park smelled like chlorine and warm, damp air. Heat lamps lined the edges of the pool, and the boys' shrieking laughter echoed off the tile walls.

I spent the next two hours throwing them, racing them, diving with them. They were tireless. Every time I thought they'd tire out, one of them would shout, "Again!" and drag me back into the water.

Anna lounged nearby, watching me wrangle the boys from her comfortable spot. She'd barely moved in the last hour.

"Uncle Jasper!" Elias grabbed my arm. "We're seeing Papa next week. He promised me that we're going to visit the water park there too."

"That's great." I lifted him up and tossed him back into the water. He surfaced, laughing.

Raphael swam over. "Uncle Jasper, do you have children?"

I laughed. "Have you ever seen any children at my house?"

They both shook their heads.

"But don't you want any?" Elias asked.

From the lounger, Anna had stopped reading. She was watching us now.

I lifted Raphael and threw him back into the water. He landed with a huge splash, and Elias cheered.

"You two are more than enough work for me," I said, grinning.

They weren't satisfied with that answer, but they got distracted when another kid cannonballed near us, and the question was forgotten.

By the time we left, my arms ached from throwing them. The boys protested leaving, but they could barely keep their eyes open. Anna herded them towards the exit, and I followed with the soggy towels and a collection of dripping plastic toys in my rucksack.

Within five minutes of getting in the car, both boys were asleep in the back seat.

I watched the late afternoon sun through the window, pleasant tiredness settling into my muscles. Quiet for the first time all day.

Anna drove in silence for a while. Then: "Have you ever met anyone new?"

Lucas. I pushed the thought away.

I rolled my eyes. "Not you too."

"What?"

"Marcel and Tobie already nag me about this."

Anna smiled. "I'm not nagging. Just asking." She paused. "What about Karina? Whatever happened with her?"

"You mean Katrin?" I corrected gently.

"Right. Katrin."

"She left," I said. "Moved to Berlin."

Anna went quiet. The road curved through the forest, trees pressing close on both sides.

"Do you regret it?" she asked finally.

"What?"

"Not going with her?"

"No." I meant it. "She needed to go. I wanted to stay. I like it here."

She glanced at me. "But liking where you are and being happy where you are aren't always the same thing."

I didn't answer. Someone should make sure Lucas knows where to find help.

We pulled into our street as the sun was setting. I looked for Lucas, but I couldn't see anything. The house was dark. Maybe he'd gone back to his hotel. Did he have a hotel?

The boys were still asleep. We quietly unloaded the car. They woke up just enough to stumble out, still half-asleep and protesting.

"Do we have to go now?" Raphael mumbled.

"Yes," Anna said gently. "You can sleep in the car."

Oma came out to say goodbye. She kissed both boys on the head and told Anna to drive safely.

The goodbyes were quick. The boys were too exhausted for much more than sleepy hugs. Anna loaded them back into the car, and I walked her to the driver's side.

"Thanks for coming," I said.

She hugged me. "Thanks for entertaining the boys."

She pulled back, studying my face again. That look.

"Don't," I said.

"Don't what?"

"Look at me like that. Like I'm—I don't know. Incomplete or something."

She opened her mouth, then closed it. "I don't think you're incomplete."

"Good. Then stop worrying." I smiled to soften it. "I'm happy. Really."

She nodded, then got in the car. She waved through the windscreen as she pulled away.

I went back inside and watched from the doorway as her car disappeared down the street. The house settled into its familiar quiet. Oma had already gone to bed.

I went to the kitchen. Oma had left Apfelstrudel on the counter—still warm. I cut a slice and ate it standing up.

Everyone had opinions or advice for me lately. Marcel and Tobie. Anna in the car. All of them looking at me like I was missing something.

Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't.

I liked my life—the shop, the mountains, Oma, this town.

I should check on Lucas tomorrow. Make sure he knows where to find help with the house.

I finished the Apfelstrudel and washed the plate. Anna and the boys were on their way to Stuttgart now. The house was back to normal—just me and Oma.

I turned off the kitchen light and headed upstairs.